Can't help missing you ....

it has been 2 months since we parted ... Communication has always been very difficult due to time difference. But no matter what, we still manage to have regular communication so far...

Even thought i have u in my heart, i still miss u terribly. There has not been one day that i have not miss u, each time i wear or remove the bracelet u gave me, it makes me misses u even more. I guess u really chose the right gift ..... i really love u and love the bracelet ...

Due to the time table i have for my new module and u busy with your work, cousin wedding and preparation to visit me in London, we have cut down communication drastically....

But the telephone conversation we had this afternoon was really great ...... I was smiling since then, even thought i deny to my 4th mistress ..... i have been quite gloomy these days until after the call today..... maybe that is how those people who take ectasy feel (i haven't try one before). the way u try to be very "teh" with me always excites me..... i really do not know when u really "teh" and when u r not ..... but i just like the way u r ......

looking forward to see u in person soon ..... 2 more weeks .....

*muackz*

I am tired ... I wanna go home !!!

Sitting infront of my computer, applying moisturiser, thoughts just rushed into my mind... I am tired ... i wanna go home. Home - a place that can accomodate all my nonsense.

Living away from my family is never easy. Let alone staying with other people. Before i left uk for my studies last year ... My eldest brother advice me one thing. He said :" Living outside is not easy... u arhz ... better learn to be more accomodative and be more easy going ok? Don't think that other people can accept the things and thoughts u have... u r very fussy person... take things more easy, if not u will offend people."

Well, my brother words came true .... Shortly after i move in with my new flat mates this year.... things just goes wrong .... Looking back .... the fault sure lies in me and not them .... of course as the accused, i have some thing to say in my defence.

Many things goes wrong.... i do not need to list them all out ... but allow me to justify my actions.... people perceive me as a cleanliness freak.... like to be clean for everything .... think about it, if u don't keep things cleans, other than having rashes from dust and dirt, u will also stink. am i right ??? i know uk is cold, and u might not smell smelly stuffs so easily... but it is not an excuse to slack. because i got a very strong personal believe that since u have make an effort to do something right already, don't screw it up just becoz u r lazy or accident haapens. for example, if u wash ur clothes, wat u want to achieve is to make ur clothes clean right ??? if ur newly washed, wet clothes drop onto a dusty floor, should not u consider the item dirty and re-wash the item ??? because dust will just stick onto the wet clothes easily. if u say never mind, r u trying to imply that washing ur clothes is just going through the motion??? u wash ur clothes becoz other people wash their clothes too???

do things without keeping the objective in mind is just going through the motion. doing things with the primary objective in mind and achieving the objective is consider have the thing done. wat is the point of washing the toilet on the general surface looks clean and ignore the corners ??? the dirt from the corner will just come out after a few use of the toilet...

no wonder governement agencies and statutory boards always have deep shit at some corners everytime becoz the scholars i live with are displaying such personal traits in their daily life already ....haiz .....

another problem .... a scholar and top student laugh at me for labeling my personal food items in the house refrigerator. they ASSUME (making an ASS out of U and ME) that i am drawing line with them. thinking i am a selfish person. YES! i am drawing line, but the line do not help me but them !!!! urgh !!!!!

first thing, i do not share food, drinks and milk with them is becoz i consumer all these things fast and a lot. Sharing with them will just make them pay for wat they do not consume. In order to differentiate, my stuffs from theirs and the communal ones, i write my name on the things that belong to me... the reasons:

(1) i sometimes drink my milk from the carton, u wanna drink my saliva ??? OF COZ NOT RIGHT ??? still wanna laugh ???
(2) if any food stuffs are expired, of coz anyone have the right to remove it from the fridge. but it is also nice to let the owner know before or after discarding the thing right??? at least each other are well informed.... take a look at the fridge now ..... it is so packed to the brim, but does anyone notice an expired carton of milk is inside !?!?!?! i do not want to throw it away becoz i am already blacklisted in the household ...... even doing something right will be perceive as wrong .... I GIVE UP !!!

(3) often, things in the fridge needs to be reshuffle becoz we each have our own groceries inside ..... sometimes, after resguffling, u might not be able to find some of your own stuffs.... after some time.... u will forget abt the food... labeling will HELP u get back ur stuffs, becoz observant housemate might remind u that ur chocolate or other thing is there as they see that u might forget abt it....
GOD DAMN .... can't they see the advantage !!! fridge might look small, but things stuff here and there, there tend to have things hidden and are hard to be seen !!!!! STILL WANNA LAUGH ???

yes .... i might be hard to click with u all young kids becoz who knows, 2 to 4 years of age gap can have generation gap too ..... the jokes i crack, the things i say and my thoughts might not be easily comprehen (like the 2 instances above). yah .... i am sorry abt this .... who do not want to be well like and easy going.... but that is not me ..... BUT i also mean no harm ..... i can be a nice fren too .... if u get the chance to know me better ....


i do not usually bite !!! UNLESS LIKE NOW !!! THAT U ALL HAVE SHOWN ME THE UGLY SIDE OF U ALL. i have been sharpening my teeth .... but holding them back ..... PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME BITE .....

another principle of of mine ..... once u get on my bad side ..... i will fight back ..... even thought i know i will lose, i will still fight all the way !!! i have track record on this ..... DO NOT TRY ME !!!!!

shit .... why should i vent frustration on my laptop when i should vent on u guys !!! spolit my laptop only .....

FUCK YOU ALL !!! FUCK THE WORLD !!! I WANNA GO HOME !!! A PLACE WHERE I BELONG AND BE ACCOMODATED !!! MUMMY !!! I WANNA GO HOME !!!

FUCKING PISS ...........

Do u love me ???

I owe this post to my dear dear for a very long already … Thus, I decided to put my work aside for a while to write this post.

I think close to a month ago, while chatting with my dear on msn, she ask me a question that almost every guys will find it tough to answer. That is: Do you think I love you ???

Thus, this is my answer to you dear ….

Firstly, I will of course die die say yes … because you are already officially my girlfriend already. If you don’t love me … then why the heck you are attached to me ??? Perfect logic right … But I guess your question is due to the lack of passion we have in our relationship…

If you did not realized or forgotten it, I have woo you for almost 3 years … and we have kinda mutually fall for each other about 1 and a half year ??? Passion had burnt out … but not our affection for each other.

Back to the main point … Love is a very complicated and abstract word. Abstract because everyone has different definationation for it. Complicated because the feeling of love is comprises of many other feelings.

Love is like a cocktail… Everyone has their own kinda of mixture … Some couples’ love have more passion compared to others … Some girls preferred to have their love cocktail to include the sense of security and etc etc …..

And I think your cocktail of love is trust and comfort. From my perspective, I think I have given you the feeling of trust and comfort as we have become close friends for about 2 years, and 3 years since we first started going out on sole date. As you have said it yourself, you do not trust people easily nowadays and to earn your trust takes a long time … that is why everything starts only in last summer (July 2006).

If you are attached to me just to feel how relationship is like, you would have gone with the other suitors you had long ago. They are much better than me in many ways anyway…

You are with me because you feel the love for you in me …. And therefore, you love me ….. And is because you love me …… that causes me to love you even more ….. and the cycle continues …. Never ending …..

And this is my answer to you …… is my answer to your satisfaction ???

Loving you, my alien princess
Six Tooth aka human